Even the poster for it looks boring, that tagline though 'Best Friends, Better Heroes' ... Ugh
Celebi a time travelling ... alien onion, I guess. Is being chased through this massive unarmed forest, which to me i always thought it was the Ilex forest, hey its where you saw the shrine, it makes sense. A hunter armed with a bad ass Scyther and Houndoom is after Celebi, for money. He runs into a young man named Sam .. or Sammy, or f***** professor oak before his professor licence, he time travels to ... THE FUTURE, Roll intro, to be fair his battle against some guys Croconaw is probably one of the best parts of the movie, but that's a stretch. The intro song comes on and ... that's what I forgot to mention last time, although the movie sucks the intro song always gives me chills in a good way, the jazzier upbeat remixes of the originals, I love that but I digress. Ass ... ash, that's his name now, Almost misses the boat they were getting out of this movie. he makes it .... yay and eye spies a crappy CGI SUICUNE, one of the legendary trio of Johto, WHICH he saw on one of the first episodes of the johto series, when he had a cool team, (Chikorita,Bulbasaur, Totodile, Cyndiquil, Heracross and Pikachu) Yanno that always annoyed me, someone told me that the movies aren't canon .... but why not? surely if they take part in the same universe then it should be canon regardless, Whenever he saw a legendary in the show he was like ' Whose that Pokemon?' ... well Ass that's a lugia, you rode one in the second movie, remember?
See Croconaw is a bad-ass, one of the ONLY highlights throughout this atrocity to Pokemon
He is taken to this weird ewok pre fortree city when SAM from before arrives IN THE FUTURE, We discover that a hunter, albeit a pretty badass one who works for team rocket turns up threatening the hunter from before on the location of Serebii, He shows off his bad ass dark ball and catches the tyranitar ... a rather pussified looking Tyranitar (When I always saw this Pokemon it just reminded me of Godzilla or something) he catches it and it becomes Eeeeeeeeeeeevil or dark whatever I never understood it tbh BUT HEY, give them credit for actually making a bad guy capture Pokemon instead of lazily throwing a net over it. He is given the location of Celebi and heads over in his ... weird spider mech ... Id question it but ive seen weirder things that jessie james and meowth have made so whatever. Meanwhile Ass and friends meet up with Sammy and find CERUBII, They try and befriend it and all that crappy stuff that when you watch a Pokemon movie you don't want to see, its that dumb interaction with a cute legendary WHICH in all fairness it cant talk besides say BEEEE over and over, I mean it is psychic I would accept it to talk. which later in the series of movies ANY god damn legendary can talk (Kudos for not making Palkia, Dialga or Giratina talk, Arceus i can understand, he is god after all)
Ok maybe this is another cool scene, SO BADASS :C
The Team Rocket hunter now being called the Iron Masked Marauder ... yeah its a dumb name I know, decides F*** this lovey dovey shit, that there Celebi is mine, they fight him and its kinda cool to see an early poke ball from Sammy, Charmeleon and Bayleef square off against a Scizor and Sneasel and To be fair, its a pretty decent battle, HEY with a movie being void of ANY DECENT BATTLES, its nice to see some action every now and then. Iron masked dick sauce catches Celebi in a DARK ball and proceeds to show off its power, OH GAWD, the cgi in this in horrific, I know they had it in the previous movies like 2000 with that dudes airship and Molly's weird flower power castle in 3 but they just worked OK, This however is just .... ugh horrible, the problem I felt was it felt like a really long episode, not a movie and the CG Suicune was just horrific, He forces Celebi to make a weird nest thing and claims Celebi is the strongest Pokemon in the world, OH I believe Mewtwo would be pissed at that line, its like someone saying that they are the strongest there is, you are just asking for a ass whupping, Ass and co try to stop Celebi from engulfing the planet with its CG ness, Suicune turns up, in all his blandness, come on guys the Legend of Raikou special was better than this ... more I think about it any special without Ass in is better, Watch Pokemon Origins its the most amazing thing I have seen out of the pokemonverse ... besides those cool animated trailers for Black/White 2.
I take it back, I kinda like this guy, Though, how does he see? He looks like a Lucha Dore
Anyway, using CGICUNES help they free Celebi from the clutches of villainy and the nasty nest thing falls apart, WTF is it actually meant to be, someone told me it was meant to be a Celebi ... i just don't see it, because the CGI is so bad I always mistook it for a shredded wheat or something ... IT LOOKS AWFUL, why is it in my movie, Celebi dries up like a prune because the plot demanded it and all these Celebis come through time to heal it, not before Suicune has to purify the lake .... obviously it fails tremendously because ... Suicune sucks, I dunno. Celebi is resurrected and Sam returns to his bland sepia toned period of time. Ass calls up the professor telling him what happened ... why didn't he just say it was him, WHAT a terrible way to shoe horn him in, oh yeah he did f*** all to the story. OH and the hunter guy from team rocket gets butt raped by Pokemon in the forest, he had it all and a plan and dark balls and he still screwed up, id say join another team but ... they all suck, especially team flare, so miss leading
WHAT EVEN IS THAT THING, besides being part of a complete breakfast
My score for this atrocious waste of time 2/10, why 2? because some of the battles are cool and the concept is cool, but its executed poorly and quite frankly I will not be watching it ever again ... not even out of curiosity, as for the short, I don't think I could even sit through that ... thanks movie, thanks a lot.
also 14% on rotten tomatoes you guys are too soft, Oh Arceus why did I watch this
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