Pok'emon Red (Virtual Console)

OMG when this was announced last year I almost creamed my pants, I get to play a game I already own ... ON MY 3DS. THEN to top it all off when SUN and MOON come out (Getting SUN coz my brother wants MOON ... ass-hole) I Can transfer my team over to it, F*** KNOWS how they will sort the base stat issue or other GEN 1 stuff like that, S'pose they'll do it how they did on Pokemon Stadium 2 when they just gave Pokemon genders, I named my VENUSAUR BRUTEROOT (Thanks first movie) and when I put it on stadium 2 it was a girl ... quick name change to IVY and we are good as gold. Playing this did make me think though, what of you may ask? well all those fantastic GEN 1 glitches of-course

When I was a kid I always thought the Pokemon you press start on is your starter ... yeah I was dumb

YOU know the ones I'm talking about, Missingno., Catching safari zone Pokemon outside of the safari zone, 99 of the 6th item in your bag, Cloning (Ill advised) and of-course, the one glitch that if I had known how to do when I first had the game, catching MEW holy helix on a stick, this is awesome. Not only can you get the rarest Pokemon in the game because lets face it, unless you lived in Japan you ain't getting this son of a bitch, From what hear as well you get multiple opportunities to catch it as well ... WHY OH WHY, did everyone say it was under the ARCEUS forsaken truck that you couldn't get to anyway unless someone traded you a Pokemon with cut and you saved it till later, why would game-freak do that anyway, I get that his is meant to be rare but under a truck? this gives new meaning to stupid. What I didn't know when I was a kid was the Pokegods, you heard right Pokegods. Now if you remember this good for you, me? I had no f****** clue. I didn't have the internet when I was a kid, heck I didn't get it till I was like 13 or something. Some little kid probably laughing his ass off right now as a grown adult basically crashed the internet, Imagine if you will a time before mega evolution ... scary I know, Now imagine that somehow if you find a mist stone you can evolve your starters into SAPUSAUR, CHARCOLT and my personal favourite RAINER .... that's good naming. Oh and MARILL isn't called MARILL he's called PIKABLU .... that makes sense, they look NOTHING alike besides the jagged tail.

To be honest looking at the original designs for the for-mentioned Pokegods, its seems game-freak were paying some attention because they look kinda the same, Google them I couldn't find any images sorry

So are all these glitches available in the new game? YES THEY ARE, I couldn't be happier. I suppose it would take too long to reprogram the game but man I'm glad they are in it, to me this is GEN 1, Glitching the crap out of your game, I will say this though, do not attempt to clone your Pokemon I suffered for this, guess treading in MR FUJI'S footsteps is ill advised, it will destroy your save file, all my NUZLOCKE Pokemon, gone like a whisper then I started again like a ground-hog day or something. I Suppose its to stop you having a whole team of MEWTWO's but come on, I caught it with an ultra-ball .... I've never done that before on GEN 1, Same with the legendary birds (Though I caught ZAPDOS with master ball because I was still doing the nuzlocke and it was a quick catch) The problems I do have with it is that the original games were SLOOOOOOWWWWWWWW without the bike anyway, I wish they put like a DODRIO tower feature in or something like that. They took the time to edit JYNX's yellow sprite ... yes it is hilarious to look at but aside from that, I still thoroughly enjoy it and would play it again ... like I am now, definitely buying yellow soon

Holy ARCEUS look at that thing, its so bright my eyes are hurting, there is nothing racist about JYNX especially not the original yellow sprite ... To be honest I always thought it was based of the Groke from the Moomins .... 'shudders' still scares me, Google that you have been warned though (Thanks to Serebii.net, go check out that site ... oh hell you probably already have)

I'd say a solid 9/10, some issues need fixing but its still a great game regardless and launched my undying love for the Pokemon franchise, Yes even Black/White 

Pokemon - Wish For A Better Movie, Movie

The 6th movie in the Pokemon franchise (If you don't count the made for TV movie MEWTWO Returns .... Oh yeah, he returns, I may review it in my 'T.v Specials Reviews' which I have not totally just made up ... PROVE THAT I HAVEN'T) ... JIRACHI WISH MAKER, tbh this one is on the cusp of crap and OK 5/10 already scored it, The animation and the story are pretty weird, it seems really vibrant but I kinda like it, it feels like the final Digimon tamers movie the animation is the same. And the story has GROUDON in it ... well kinda, what's the story?

The copy I have has this is as its cover ... it sucks, JIRACHI has as much of a clue as we do

Some scientists ... or acheologists ... ALREADY I'M CONFUSED, start searching in a weird canyon place and that is one thing i forgot to mention about these movies, they have some KICK-ASS intros, showing you some sweet legendary action and in this instance we see Brendan, The main character from ruby and sapphire square off against an aroma lady in a stadium, this battle is so cool why not make the movie about them? that would be awesome. We get our main heroes ASS. Who is still training to be a Pokemon master (Give it up already) BROCK, the pervert, MAY who tbh, it may seem weird but for the longest time I had a crush on (Yeah she is 10 I know) and MAX Jesus Christ on a stick, i hate this whinny son of a bitch, is he meant to be 5, THIS Should be the 10yr old i could just fill the review with how much i hate this little shit stain .... ugh. ASS and the co. are there to witness the millennium comet and to take part in the festival, Team magma wanted to resurrect GROUDON or find GROUDON or some shit and film him in his little lava lair .... if they know where he is why don't they just catch him there, they obviously put a camera there so they know where the f*** he is yet they cant catch him, In the game they have the master-ball the best poke-ball in the game and yet they cant find him .... I call TAUROS SHIT on that one.

Oh dude Brendan, with a badass AGGRON and SHIFTRY, WHY wasn't he the star?

Our villain for this picture is the GREAT BUTLER, more like the great butt, his voice is pretty annoying, like a flamboyant James ... more so, maybe they had the same voice actors who knows, they all attend his magic show and MAX that little excuse for animation can hear JIRACHI calling to him .... this genuinely freaked me out, it sounds so creepy like an imp or something its so unnerving to watch, BUT although I usually complain about ''legendary' Pokemon talking, this doesn't bother me, WHY? Its a psychic type .... but then why cant other psychic types talk? how can LUCARIO talk he isn't a psychic type or KELDEO, KYYREM ... Whatever I give up, He runs down onto the stage and he and ASS are confused for great magicians, they get put in a box so a DUSCLOPS (Another creepy Pokemon, but it is a ghost ill let it slide) can HYPER BEAM them .... oooooooh I cant wait, guess what, they survive yay, the go outside and see this comet they were banging on about and butlers true intentions are shown, he used to be a scientist working for team magma, but because his magical Resurrection device didn't work they all laughed at him, but he found JIRACHI, couldn't he just make a wish for GROUDON to appear instead of trying to harness its power, they say it can only teleport things, well then teleport GROUDON to where they are HOOPA can do it why cant this mustard coloured turd bag.

Believe it not BUTLER is on the left, not the death ghost thing and playing its air piano

At this point I have to say, in order to review this movie I had to re-watch it, with the others I knew they were bad, but with wish maker I dunno if I have just forgot it coz it was bad or coz it was that good yo. They keep hammering this best friend/brother bullshit in the movie, all i want to see in Pokemon movies is legendaries threatening the world or just being legendaries, Battles and next gen Pokemon is that too much to ask? butler decides f*** the officer jenny's I'm making my own GROUDON with JIRACHI'S special get the energy from the comet power (he had to harness an energy source that appears once every 1000 years .... how terribly specific), an ABSOL appears to take JIRACHI back to where it lives and the gang find out that butler has gone f****** insane, they show there journey across the world of Pokemon yet we don't see ANY f******* Pokemon in this world of Pokemon. also ASS says he misses his friend ... apparently its misty I thought it was BUTTERFREE tbh, They spout some exposition and OMG POKEMON, LOOK ALTARIA and TROPIUS .... sounds so weird, some of the cries are so manly, Sorry got caught up in the movie, Max is a whinny lil bitch oooooh I hate him, MAY sings her lullaby that would make JIGGLYPUFF jealous, didn't I mention it before? yeah she sings in this. I'm just praying that the comet crashes into the planet by the end of this movie.

So badass, I've underestimated you ABSOL

What did I say before this movie isn't bad? No its not but its not good either, OH DUDE A FLYGON .... sorry, when Pokemon appear especially some of my fave's i get all pokemonostalgia ... sorry, The climax is upon us, and tbh I actually like this climax its cool and gets needlessly dark and I love it, this is what i expect from a Pokemon movie. This is where butler goes ... MAD, as specified by his girlfriend i guess, I'm really sick of this showman ship bull, there's a 3d JIRACHI because reasons. BECAUSE this film is mostly void of jokes team rocket making a joke is actually kind of funny, So JIRACHI uses the power of the comet to make a fake GROUDON. ASS and MAX get on the back of FLYGON and have a pretty cool fight against a SALAMENCE that sounds like a dinosaur, not complaining 2 dragons VS each other, but its sadly ruined by the whimsical music, the real game is on as the fake ground starts destroying everything OOOOOOOOOH BOY this is awesome, GROUDON is like a Kaiju, its starts to attack the other Pokemon ... I'm actually in awe, this is why I love this movie, damn this move throws some shit at us, butlers love interest gets eaten and butler goes all super saiyan.

UGH SO COOL, it looks so pissed and awesome at the same time

So butlers a good guy now, hey if you loose your supposed wife its bound to turn you from evil to good, Diane that's her name she says it more than the Pokemon do,So in order to save the day they have to reverse the polarity or some shit, that's how you save the day kids, Technojargan, also the fake GROUDON sounds like an elephant? I get in later versions they sound more like Kaiju but and elephant ... that's dumb. The fake GROUDON melts into ... goo i guess and JIRACHI goes all Jesus on us hurtling the abomination into the night sky ... killing everyone with it, sucks to be them .... Oh ofc they don't die, that would be tragically hilarious. JIRACHI wishes for MAX to sing that dull lullaby when may first sang it, OMG BROCK singing I miss BROCK. So with that JIRACHI turns back into a monolith sized jewel and disappears ... until Pokemon channel where you can get a bazillion of them. EXPLAIN THAT ONE MOVIE

The power of HELIX compels you heathen

So as a whole yeah, i still stand at 5/10 it was dumb but the animation was cool and that Kick-ass fake GROUDON, ugh its so cool, this is probably the best out of the shit movies, there's a lot at stake towards the end and the animation is nice, but its ruined by that little ass-hat MAX unfortunately the other movies have him in it and no he doesn't get better.