Godzilla Movie Rant

Yeah back from the dead again nice to see you all, lets rant about my favorite kaiju ever ... GODZILLA.

"Insert Train Pun"

Now being a resident of UK i can only find 4 movies in my local DVD/Blu ray retailer. Godzilla (1954) King Kong Vs Godzilla, GODZILLA (Zilla, because he is not worthy of the god status) and Godzilla (2014) ... which is a pretty good movie ... considering Zilla was a piece of shit, don't get me started on that movie it took me many years to forget this movie. Right so, movie problem. UK is region 2 ... Godzilla is region 1 because for some unknown they aren't released here, THE OTHERS HAVE BEEN, 1 and 3 but nothing else, WHY why why why do this, whats the point. They release a ps4 game with all the monsters and bios and everything ... but why, we don't have the movies over here, why release it at all. I KNOW IT ALL because i am a Geekzilla i know all the info. All i want is a nice box set with all the movies to be released here in the UK and not for me to import them all and buy a bastard multi regional dvd player ... what the fuck

... pretty good game tbh

My first intro was probably the GameCube game "Godzilla Destroy all monsters melee" i had no fucking clue what these monsters were , Im pretty sure i knew who Godzilla was prior, King Ghidorah or Destoroyah (FYI Most bad-ass kaiju ever) Then obviously numerous comics and more games introduced me to more kaiju. The love of the kaiju will never fade. Yet i still haven't watched all the movies, especially the Heisei series (1989 - 1995) its the best. My love for kaiju doesn't stop at just Godzilla, i am also a fan of Gamera but again ... region locked. I mean why does there need to be a thing such as region lock, if i want to watch a movie that isn't released in my home country (English speaking country bye the bye) i have to buy them and a multi regional DVD player ... which honestly is there any point ... yes? This is more a rant on region locking ... Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut the main cause of which was Godzilla so its more that, thats it really ... still pissed off wont change it .... life, Here's some awesome GIFS 

Fuck you .... annnnnnnnnd fuck you too

That is literally just a Godzilla action figure

They have to be CGI them eyes

He isn't actually dancing but whatever 

CIAO

UPDATE

I have since bought them all region 4, fuck the system

No Woman's Sky

So much potential, the whole idea makes me rather upset, it was fun for 10 hours then its just repetitive city ... no one wants that. 

Oh man .. where do i start with this one? I want to like it but after playing it for a few weeks i have found the problem ... there is nothing to do, Let me explain, There is a lot to see and it is very pretty but ... not a lot to do, You spend the first hour and a bit looking for a way to get off the planet (Mine was constantly trying to kill me, random my ass) Second you do leave the planet and explore the adjacent systems you start to realize one thing ... everything is the same.

WHERE ARE THE GOD DAMN BRONTOSAURUS's ... i honestly feel cheated, like I've just been raped in an alley after a night out then the mugger stole 44 quid from me ... 

The animals (Or aliens as i call them because lets face it they are fucking alien to me) all look the same you've seen one you've seen them all, OH LOOK this one looks exactly like the first one i saw but it has a weird tentacle for a head the planets 9 times out of 10 are either toxic, hot or just baron, I KNOW earth was a rare freak of nature but just to find the dinosaurs man they are on the box they have to be SOMEWHERE. They lied to us man, i feel cheated and yet i don't, very conflicting i enjoyed the time spent on it feeling like Captain Jean Luc-Picard because James T Kirk can SUCK IT

But it looks so pretty :'(

Exploring countless worlds of new and interesting environments and animals but they are mostly the same and it gets boring seeing the same shit over and over again. I'm now more excited for the new Pokemon game out in November ... you'll never let me down Pokemon you will always be there for me. I think what it is lacking is any sort of depth, You cant customize your spaceship even though they look like they were made for that shit, looking simplistic in nature and whatever, Screw that i wanna make the Milano from GOTGI wanna run into a planet full of Kaiju or at least dinosaurs ... i found one dinosaur and it scared me shitless, a T rex version of the flat-woods alien ... aliens freak me out as is but that thing ... no thanks

It looks so pretty ... why did it suck so hard 

For those who have played they will understand for those who haven't ... i honestly don't know what to say if it interests you get it, if not don't bother, for those Xbox players among you play 'Subnautica' coz that shit is awesome and tbh its probably a damn sight better than this, No mans sky is a perfect title ... because there is no one in it .... i bet I'm the first person to make that joke ever, I would give it a 5/10 not brilliant like Yooka Laylee (That shit is gonna be so good) and not as bad as ... Rocket Power Beach Bandits ( Yeah i played that shit when i was a kid) Up to you what you spend your hard earnt monies on :D

Pok'emon Red (Virtual Console)

OMG when this was announced last year I almost creamed my pants, I get to play a game I already own ... ON MY 3DS. THEN to top it all off when SUN and MOON come out (Getting SUN coz my brother wants MOON ... ass-hole) I Can transfer my team over to it, F*** KNOWS how they will sort the base stat issue or other GEN 1 stuff like that, S'pose they'll do it how they did on Pokemon Stadium 2 when they just gave Pokemon genders, I named my VENUSAUR BRUTEROOT (Thanks first movie) and when I put it on stadium 2 it was a girl ... quick name change to IVY and we are good as gold. Playing this did make me think though, what of you may ask? well all those fantastic GEN 1 glitches of-course

When I was a kid I always thought the Pokemon you press start on is your starter ... yeah I was dumb

YOU know the ones I'm talking about, Missingno., Catching safari zone Pokemon outside of the safari zone, 99 of the 6th item in your bag, Cloning (Ill advised) and of-course, the one glitch that if I had known how to do when I first had the game, catching MEW holy helix on a stick, this is awesome. Not only can you get the rarest Pokemon in the game because lets face it, unless you lived in Japan you ain't getting this son of a bitch, From what hear as well you get multiple opportunities to catch it as well ... WHY OH WHY, did everyone say it was under the ARCEUS forsaken truck that you couldn't get to anyway unless someone traded you a Pokemon with cut and you saved it till later, why would game-freak do that anyway, I get that his is meant to be rare but under a truck? this gives new meaning to stupid. What I didn't know when I was a kid was the Pokegods, you heard right Pokegods. Now if you remember this good for you, me? I had no f****** clue. I didn't have the internet when I was a kid, heck I didn't get it till I was like 13 or something. Some little kid probably laughing his ass off right now as a grown adult basically crashed the internet, Imagine if you will a time before mega evolution ... scary I know, Now imagine that somehow if you find a mist stone you can evolve your starters into SAPUSAUR, CHARCOLT and my personal favourite RAINER .... that's good naming. Oh and MARILL isn't called MARILL he's called PIKABLU .... that makes sense, they look NOTHING alike besides the jagged tail.

To be honest looking at the original designs for the for-mentioned Pokegods, its seems game-freak were paying some attention because they look kinda the same, Google them I couldn't find any images sorry

So are all these glitches available in the new game? YES THEY ARE, I couldn't be happier. I suppose it would take too long to reprogram the game but man I'm glad they are in it, to me this is GEN 1, Glitching the crap out of your game, I will say this though, do not attempt to clone your Pokemon I suffered for this, guess treading in MR FUJI'S footsteps is ill advised, it will destroy your save file, all my NUZLOCKE Pokemon, gone like a whisper then I started again like a ground-hog day or something. I Suppose its to stop you having a whole team of MEWTWO's but come on, I caught it with an ultra-ball .... I've never done that before on GEN 1, Same with the legendary birds (Though I caught ZAPDOS with master ball because I was still doing the nuzlocke and it was a quick catch) The problems I do have with it is that the original games were SLOOOOOOWWWWWWWW without the bike anyway, I wish they put like a DODRIO tower feature in or something like that. They took the time to edit JYNX's yellow sprite ... yes it is hilarious to look at but aside from that, I still thoroughly enjoy it and would play it again ... like I am now, definitely buying yellow soon

Holy ARCEUS look at that thing, its so bright my eyes are hurting, there is nothing racist about JYNX especially not the original yellow sprite ... To be honest I always thought it was based of the Groke from the Moomins .... 'shudders' still scares me, Google that you have been warned though (Thanks to Serebii.net, go check out that site ... oh hell you probably already have)

I'd say a solid 9/10, some issues need fixing but its still a great game regardless and launched my undying love for the Pokemon franchise, Yes even Black/White 

Pokemon - Wish For A Better Movie, Movie

The 6th movie in the Pokemon franchise (If you don't count the made for TV movie MEWTWO Returns .... Oh yeah, he returns, I may review it in my 'T.v Specials Reviews' which I have not totally just made up ... PROVE THAT I HAVEN'T) ... JIRACHI WISH MAKER, tbh this one is on the cusp of crap and OK 5/10 already scored it, The animation and the story are pretty weird, it seems really vibrant but I kinda like it, it feels like the final Digimon tamers movie the animation is the same. And the story has GROUDON in it ... well kinda, what's the story?

The copy I have has this is as its cover ... it sucks, JIRACHI has as much of a clue as we do

Some scientists ... or acheologists ... ALREADY I'M CONFUSED, start searching in a weird canyon place and that is one thing i forgot to mention about these movies, they have some KICK-ASS intros, showing you some sweet legendary action and in this instance we see Brendan, The main character from ruby and sapphire square off against an aroma lady in a stadium, this battle is so cool why not make the movie about them? that would be awesome. We get our main heroes ASS. Who is still training to be a Pokemon master (Give it up already) BROCK, the pervert, MAY who tbh, it may seem weird but for the longest time I had a crush on (Yeah she is 10 I know) and MAX Jesus Christ on a stick, i hate this whinny son of a bitch, is he meant to be 5, THIS Should be the 10yr old i could just fill the review with how much i hate this little shit stain .... ugh. ASS and the co. are there to witness the millennium comet and to take part in the festival, Team magma wanted to resurrect GROUDON or find GROUDON or some shit and film him in his little lava lair .... if they know where he is why don't they just catch him there, they obviously put a camera there so they know where the f*** he is yet they cant catch him, In the game they have the master-ball the best poke-ball in the game and yet they cant find him .... I call TAUROS SHIT on that one.

Oh dude Brendan, with a badass AGGRON and SHIFTRY, WHY wasn't he the star?

Our villain for this picture is the GREAT BUTLER, more like the great butt, his voice is pretty annoying, like a flamboyant James ... more so, maybe they had the same voice actors who knows, they all attend his magic show and MAX that little excuse for animation can hear JIRACHI calling to him .... this genuinely freaked me out, it sounds so creepy like an imp or something its so unnerving to watch, BUT although I usually complain about ''legendary' Pokemon talking, this doesn't bother me, WHY? Its a psychic type .... but then why cant other psychic types talk? how can LUCARIO talk he isn't a psychic type or KELDEO, KYYREM ... Whatever I give up, He runs down onto the stage and he and ASS are confused for great magicians, they get put in a box so a DUSCLOPS (Another creepy Pokemon, but it is a ghost ill let it slide) can HYPER BEAM them .... oooooooh I cant wait, guess what, they survive yay, the go outside and see this comet they were banging on about and butlers true intentions are shown, he used to be a scientist working for team magma, but because his magical Resurrection device didn't work they all laughed at him, but he found JIRACHI, couldn't he just make a wish for GROUDON to appear instead of trying to harness its power, they say it can only teleport things, well then teleport GROUDON to where they are HOOPA can do it why cant this mustard coloured turd bag.

Believe it not BUTLER is on the left, not the death ghost thing and playing its air piano

At this point I have to say, in order to review this movie I had to re-watch it, with the others I knew they were bad, but with wish maker I dunno if I have just forgot it coz it was bad or coz it was that good yo. They keep hammering this best friend/brother bullshit in the movie, all i want to see in Pokemon movies is legendaries threatening the world or just being legendaries, Battles and next gen Pokemon is that too much to ask? butler decides f*** the officer jenny's I'm making my own GROUDON with JIRACHI'S special get the energy from the comet power (he had to harness an energy source that appears once every 1000 years .... how terribly specific), an ABSOL appears to take JIRACHI back to where it lives and the gang find out that butler has gone f****** insane, they show there journey across the world of Pokemon yet we don't see ANY f******* Pokemon in this world of Pokemon. also ASS says he misses his friend ... apparently its misty I thought it was BUTTERFREE tbh, They spout some exposition and OMG POKEMON, LOOK ALTARIA and TROPIUS .... sounds so weird, some of the cries are so manly, Sorry got caught up in the movie, Max is a whinny lil bitch oooooh I hate him, MAY sings her lullaby that would make JIGGLYPUFF jealous, didn't I mention it before? yeah she sings in this. I'm just praying that the comet crashes into the planet by the end of this movie.

So badass, I've underestimated you ABSOL

What did I say before this movie isn't bad? No its not but its not good either, OH DUDE A FLYGON .... sorry, when Pokemon appear especially some of my fave's i get all pokemonostalgia ... sorry, The climax is upon us, and tbh I actually like this climax its cool and gets needlessly dark and I love it, this is what i expect from a Pokemon movie. This is where butler goes ... MAD, as specified by his girlfriend i guess, I'm really sick of this showman ship bull, there's a 3d JIRACHI because reasons. BECAUSE this film is mostly void of jokes team rocket making a joke is actually kind of funny, So JIRACHI uses the power of the comet to make a fake GROUDON. ASS and MAX get on the back of FLYGON and have a pretty cool fight against a SALAMENCE that sounds like a dinosaur, not complaining 2 dragons VS each other, but its sadly ruined by the whimsical music, the real game is on as the fake ground starts destroying everything OOOOOOOOOH BOY this is awesome, GROUDON is like a Kaiju, its starts to attack the other Pokemon ... I'm actually in awe, this is why I love this movie, damn this move throws some shit at us, butlers love interest gets eaten and butler goes all super saiyan.

UGH SO COOL, it looks so pissed and awesome at the same time

So butlers a good guy now, hey if you loose your supposed wife its bound to turn you from evil to good, Diane that's her name she says it more than the Pokemon do,So in order to save the day they have to reverse the polarity or some shit, that's how you save the day kids, Technojargan, also the fake GROUDON sounds like an elephant? I get in later versions they sound more like Kaiju but and elephant ... that's dumb. The fake GROUDON melts into ... goo i guess and JIRACHI goes all Jesus on us hurtling the abomination into the night sky ... killing everyone with it, sucks to be them .... Oh ofc they don't die, that would be tragically hilarious. JIRACHI wishes for MAX to sing that dull lullaby when may first sang it, OMG BROCK singing I miss BROCK. So with that JIRACHI turns back into a monolith sized jewel and disappears ... until Pokemon channel where you can get a bazillion of them. EXPLAIN THAT ONE MOVIE

The power of HELIX compels you heathen

So as a whole yeah, i still stand at 5/10 it was dumb but the animation was cool and that Kick-ass fake GROUDON, ugh its so cool, this is probably the best out of the shit movies, there's a lot at stake towards the end and the animation is nice, but its ruined by that little ass-hat MAX unfortunately the other movies have him in it and no he doesn't get better.

WTF Youtube

This is not a movie review, Consider it a moan and groan,  I just felt the need to express my anger towards this problem. As we all know you can watch most if not all of your favourite stuff on YouTube from Movie and game reviews to re-dubs of your favourite shows and surprisingly most people make a living from making videos using ads on there videos, NOW I'm not gonna act like i love how easy these people got a job and yet i can't get one, possibly because I'm jealous that i cant do what they do, BUT to take down there channels because they infringe copyright laws WHEN they aren't (Parody/Satire and Critique are allowed), SO I hear you bellowing from the dark recess's of the internet, if we don't fight back YouTube will be extinct, Part of me fears the Sopa/Pipa/Poopa act is trying to come back into play. These of-course will turn the internet into a place of rules and regulations. THAT is not the internet, its a place of free speech, like me for example I rip apart movies on a semi weekly basis doesn't mean i don't respect the film makers ... well Ok maybe not on everything the Pokemon movies, though some of them bad I can still enjoy the animation ... MOST of the time (CGI is in excusable sometimes, 4ever I'm looking at you) But if you took away that then the internet will be a harrowed place. Now with Team4 Star being thrown out of the YouTube loop, though I never watched much of their videos I enjoyed the ones I did see. Just shows how fragile Youtube is, feels like some executive has YouTube by the balls, this needs to stop before YouTube disappears forever

Its days feels numbered ...

RANT OVER, its great being a Blogger try taking this down youtube

Pokemon - 5Ever The Movie

OMG This movie sucks the big one, it may be the worst Pokemon movie I have ever seen, out of 18 this is saying a lot. Now i know what you'll all be saying, BUT DAN this movie is for kids, well funnily enough people of the Internet I saw this movie ... when I was a kid, oh the horror. It sucked then and it sucks now.I will gladly rip into this half arsed attempt at a Pokemon movie. OH MAN this movie though, its just UGH, right after the epicness of Pokemon the Movie 3 and the amazingness of 2000. IT ANNOYS ME SO MUCH ... So what's the story I hear you wailing louder than a Wailmer. let me begrudgingly tell you.

Even the poster for it looks boring, that tagline though 'Best Friends, Better Heroes' ... Ugh

Celebi a time travelling ... alien onion, I guess. Is being chased through this massive unarmed forest, which to me i always thought it was the Ilex forest, hey its where you saw the shrine, it makes sense. A hunter armed with a bad ass Scyther and Houndoom is after Celebi, for money. He runs into a young man named Sam .. or Sammy, or f***** professor oak before his professor licence, he time travels to ... THE FUTURE, Roll intro, to be fair his battle against some guys Croconaw is probably one of the best parts of the movie, but that's a stretch. The intro song comes on and ... that's what I forgot to mention last time, although the movie sucks the intro song always gives me chills in a good way, the jazzier upbeat remixes of the originals, I love that but I digress. Ass ... ash, that's his name now, Almost misses the boat they were getting out of this movie. he makes it .... yay and eye spies a crappy CGI SUICUNE, one of the legendary trio of Johto, WHICH he saw on one of the first episodes of the johto series, when he had a cool team, (Chikorita,Bulbasaur, Totodile, Cyndiquil, Heracross and Pikachu) Yanno that always annoyed me, someone told me that the movies aren't canon .... but why not? surely if they take part in the same universe then it should be canon regardless, Whenever he saw a legendary in the show he was like ' Whose that Pokemon?' ... well Ass that's a lugia, you rode one in the second movie, remember?

See Croconaw is a bad-ass, one of the ONLY highlights throughout this atrocity to Pokemon

He is taken to this weird ewok pre fortree city when SAM from before arrives IN THE FUTURE, We discover that a hunter, albeit a pretty badass one who works for team rocket turns up threatening the hunter from before on the location of Serebii, He shows off his bad ass dark ball and catches the tyranitar ... a rather pussified looking Tyranitar (When I always saw this Pokemon it just reminded me of Godzilla or something) he catches it and it becomes Eeeeeeeeeeeevil or dark whatever I never understood it tbh BUT HEY, give them credit for actually making a bad guy capture Pokemon instead of lazily throwing a net over it. He is given the location of Celebi and heads over in his ... weird spider mech ... Id question it but ive seen weirder things that jessie james and meowth have made so whatever. Meanwhile Ass and friends meet up with Sammy and find CERUBII, They try and befriend it and all that crappy stuff that when you watch a Pokemon movie you don't want to see, its that dumb interaction with a cute legendary WHICH in all fairness it cant talk besides say BEEEE over and over, I mean it is psychic I would accept it to talk. which later in the series of movies ANY god damn legendary can talk (Kudos for not making Palkia, Dialga or Giratina talk, Arceus i can understand, he is god after all)

Ok maybe this is another cool scene, SO BADASS :C

The Team Rocket hunter now being called the Iron Masked Marauder ... yeah its a dumb name I know, decides F*** this lovey dovey shit, that there Celebi is mine, they fight him and its kinda cool to see an early poke ball from Sammy, Charmeleon and Bayleef square off against a Scizor and Sneasel and To be fair, its a pretty decent battle, HEY with a movie being void of ANY DECENT BATTLES, its nice to see some action every now and then. Iron masked dick sauce catches Celebi in a DARK ball and proceeds to show off its power, OH GAWD, the cgi in this in horrific, I know they had it in the previous movies like 2000 with that dudes airship and Molly's weird flower power castle in 3 but they just worked OK, This however is just .... ugh horrible, the problem I felt was it felt like a really long episode, not a movie and the CG Suicune was just horrific, He forces Celebi to make a weird nest thing and claims Celebi is the strongest Pokemon in the world, OH I believe Mewtwo would be pissed at that line, its like someone saying that they are the strongest there is, you are just asking for a ass whupping, Ass and co try to stop Celebi from engulfing the planet with its CG ness, Suicune turns up, in all his blandness, come on guys the Legend of Raikou special was better than this ... more I think about it any special without Ass in is better, Watch Pokemon Origins its the most amazing thing I have seen out of the pokemonverse ... besides those cool animated trailers for Black/White 2.

I take it back, I kinda like this guy, Though, how does he see? He looks like a Lucha Dore

Anyway, using CGICUNES help they free Celebi from the clutches of villainy and the nasty nest thing falls apart, WTF is it actually meant to be, someone told me it was meant to be a Celebi ... i just don't see it, because the CGI is so bad I always mistook it for a shredded wheat or something ... IT LOOKS AWFUL, why is it in my movie, Celebi dries up like a prune because the plot demanded it and all these Celebis come through time to heal it, not before Suicune has to purify the lake .... obviously it fails tremendously because ... Suicune sucks, I dunno. Celebi is resurrected and Sam returns to his bland sepia toned period of time. Ass calls up the professor telling him what happened ... why didn't he just say it was him, WHAT a terrible way to shoe horn him in, oh yeah he did f*** all to the story. OH and the hunter guy from team rocket gets butt raped by Pokemon in the forest, he had it all and a plan and dark balls and he still screwed up, id say join another team but ... they all suck, especially team flare, so miss leading

WHAT EVEN IS THAT THING, besides being part of a complete breakfast

My score for this atrocious waste of time 2/10, why 2? because some of the battles are cool and the concept is cool, but its executed poorly and quite frankly I will not be watching it ever again ... not even out of curiosity, as for the short, I don't think I could even sit through that ... thanks movie, thanks a lot.

also 14% on rotten tomatoes you guys are too soft, Oh Arceus why did I watch this 

Pokemon - Mixed Messages The Movie

OK before i start i want to state that the THOR review is coming, Marvel month, kinda disappeared and i will be doing a Deadpool review, i kinda don't want to though because to me, it was what I wanted to see, Deadpool being Deadpool. RIGHT POKEMON, SO I'll run this along side marvel reviews .... screw the month thing its not gonna happen XD

The poster, was WAAAAAY too busy

So a lot of you probably don't know, I'm a 90's kid, so all these 'Monster catching animes' came out during 90's and start of the 2000's. what are 'Monster catching animes'? well - Pokemon, Digimon, Monster Rancher, Card Captors, Dinosaur King etc, To be fair only 2 of those I followed religiously ... try and guess them. So as you could imagine when they announced a Pokemon movie, my brain exploded. WOW a Pokemon movie with new Pokemon i cant wait for it, so i got my popcorn and drink and free cards (Oh yes back when they ACTUALLY gave you promo cards at movies) saying that i think we were late to it or something, I missed the reveal of Snubull and Marill, two of my faves, but its cool they said there names enough so I got the jist of it. From what i can remember i enjoyed the movie ... but i was a dumb little kid at the time i would have enjoyed Pokemon if it was mentioned on the weather or some shit. Looking back at it now ... the first movie sucks, its not as god awful as some of the others and believe me some are shite but the first movie was just ... sucky, it was OK its their first one and at least they rectified it for the 2nd and 3rd movies.

Besides Pokemon i have to admit, Digimon is the best, didn't like the others

Anyway, the story, which i think is actually pretty cool is the origin of MEWTWO, from what i hear we got a butchered version from the Japanese version, The west getting a butchered version of an anime? UNHEARD OF. It starts of with scientists apparently working for Team Rocket, basically the terrorists of the Pokemon world .... until Teams Magma/Aqua ... getting ahead of myself here. They discover a  MEW fossil, the rarest and most illusive of all the Pokemon, 151 can learn every god damn move .... and looks like a foetus ... ew, I'm not gonna lie i didn't notice this as a kid (Dumb little 10yr old remember) They ... though its not explained very well attempt to clone mew, and as a result make MEWTWO on feb 6th ... how do i know the exact date? well it was in the game so it has to be true. MEWTWO throws a shit fit, burns the scientists to bite sized chicken nuggets and blows up the island, Giovanni the dick cheese controlling Team Rocket ... doesn't exactly capture it just 'befriends' it, that annoyed me in the show, team rocket always had a plan to catch Pokemon in nets or whatever, granted they were after PIKACHU all the time ... why, ugh whatever. And they never threw a F***** Pokeball at these things, isn't that how it works you want a Pokemon you battle it you catch it. Same with the legendaries, i want it lets use a big net ... WTF.

That armour though, so cool :D

Giovanni uses MEWTWO in his ... ground type ... gym, BUT he wipes the floor with Gary, ha that's funny. MEWTWO a philosophical douche always questions 'WHY AM I HERE, WHAT IS MY PURPOSE' he's a clone, i get it but COME ON, stop hammering it in I get it, move on. He escapes Giovanni and ditches his rad armour, he returns to the island he blew up and vows revenge on humanity, MEWTWO STRIKES BACK. We open on everyones favourite Pokemon master, ASH KETCHUM, he sucks, i wish they went all bad-ass on it and chose red instead of this cum-stain, ugh anyway i have a main gripe with the intro battle, some douchcicle turns up called Raymond, i always called him pirate guy, He has a new pokemon DONPHAN, A ground type, ash, being the idiot that he is never bothers to check his dex ... but that's not the gripe, he uses his PIKACHU on a GOLEM which is immune to electrical attacks ... yet it faints, WTF, how is that even possible, this isn't the Brocks ONIX bullshit where the sprinklers weakened his ONIX no no, this is just pure bullshit ... or if we are being faithful to the material, TAUROS SHIT. Ofc he beats him, he can beat any trainer but as soon as he comes up against the pokemon league he looses ... what. He gets an invitation from an obvious nurse joy in disguise that tells him to come to 'New island' and take part in the ULTIMATE BATTLE OF THE POKEMONS' ... or something along those lines, The DRAGONITE that sent the message takes it back, Team rocket stop him from returning thus making a paradox in the movie .... I'm more concerned how strong fricking Jessie is, she stopped DRAGONITE with a frying pan, this thing can fly at speeds in the mach area of speeds. DAAAAAAAAAAMMMMNN Woman.

Its confirmed that Jessie is a fairy type pokemon, 5 generations early

They arrive at a port of some kind but realise that the ferry that was going to take them to said island is cancelled due to bad weather, thanks MEWTWO, So some trainers decided F*** IT we are using our Pokemon to get there, but one thing bothered me as a kid, a trainer with a FEAROW is seen flying off but never seen again, i like to think he thought 'Screw this, I'm off to catch myself a legendary bird' After a brief and somewhat ... racist? encounter with team rocket the krew, finds themselves at new island, well done guys you all get a gold star. They are instructed to release all there Pokemon to show this new trainer and ... this bugged me too, Ash the main protagonist only sends out his BULBASAUR and SQUIRTLE, When we all know he still has CHARIZARD (Who to be fair, was only a bad-ass because he was a dick) and PIDGEOTTO. The fact that everyone else, lets face it here have much better Pokemon, Corey, the dude with the VENUSAUR may be my fave team every, albeit the 2 needless ground type Pokemon, BUT STILL COOL and His obvious PIDGEOT nicknamed PIDGEOTTO (its the only way i can make sense of that scene) Fergus with his all water type team .... apart from NIDOQUEEN ... maybe it knows surf i dunno and Neesha. who has a pretty cool team too, They all meet MEWTWO for the first time and they are amazed that its a Pokemon and not a trainer.

CLONES ARE BAD ... so is fighting ... apparently 

They all battle MEWTWO's clone Pokemon, VENUSAUR, CHARIZARD, BLASTOISE, and not gonna lie, the coolest Pokemon in the movie, the designs are F****** Amaze. They battle the non clones, and ofcourse they loose, Obviously they have been glitched thanks MISSINGNO. (most famous glitch in history come on guys) Then MEWTWO clones the other Pokemon, disables any special moves and basically just makes them kick the crap out of themselves. MEW the Pokemon from the beginning appears to fight MEWTWO and from there its one crappy pop song and ash dying and then MEWTWO wiping everyone's memory making everything we have just had rammed down our gullets a complete waste of time .... but who cares, this is where my mind lost it as a kid, my dad was asleep and Yeaaaaaaaaaahhh i can see why, its not the strongest because .... nothing happens, MEWTWO Shows up throws a shit-fit then goes, ooh fighting is bad? I'm not gonna make the point because everyone has already but whatever, a series based on fighting little monsters against each other telling us that fighting is wrong ... whut? that makes no sense and still doesn't. UGH thank god for Pokemon 2000 and Pokemon The Movie 3

UGH STILL THE COOLEST POKEMON EVER, screw you god Pokemon I'm sticking with MEWTWO

OMG I Totally forgot about this scene, tbh i just laughed my ass off at how stupid it was

I suppose I should do a quick review on PIKACHU's vacation the short that aired before this movie ... it sucked, Saying that the new additions were cool SNUBBULL and MARILL (Not PIKABLU) are cute as shit and are still my faves to this day, but it suuuuuuuuuuuuuucks, CHARIZARD is a dick, he gets his head stuck they all work together to help him instead of fighting THE END 

The short sucked, the new Pokemon did not, how could you say no to that face :3

So out of 10? 4/10 a solid 4 probably because of the nostalgia but it sucks pure and simple, mixed messages and a dumb story, though MEWTWO is still a bad-ass and them damn Gen 2 Pokemon, Now try and guess the next movie I hate.

At least I found a perfect representation of how watching the movie felt like