I have decided to run through all of the phase 1 marvel movies, so that is all the movies canon to the MCU but i may touch upon the spider-man movies as they are to me a perpetual goldmine of absolute shit, so obviously you are gonna start at the beginning, before there was even a MCU, Iron man. Now when i saw this movie at the cinema i thought ... damn, they can actually pull off a decent comic book adaptation maybe there is hope for them, round about 2008 this movie came out so i didn't really have the knowledge from comic books as i do now, BUT i was getting there. So whats the story? Tony stark a weapons manufacturer has just created the greatest weapon known the man ... The Jericho Missile, on transit back to ... somewhere, y'know i cant remember he is ambushed by terrorists, the 9 rings to be exact which i have to admit, is a nice lil nod to the Mandarin and his 9 ... alien ..... rings, man that is really dumb, i can see why they were turned into terrorists and not 9 intergalactic pieces of jewlery, its kinda easier to swallow. They send a video to the rest of the world saying that they have the all powerful tony stark and they force him to recreate the Jericho missile. Naturally he refuses and he is threatened into doing it. But before all of that, another scientist guy ... whose name eludes me, helps him stop the shards of metal racing towards his heart. Well i guess he already did that with the battery hardwired into his chest ... but it doesn't look as cool as the Mini arc reactor. Why did the terrorists let him do that though? all they seem to be interested in is that damn Jericho missile.
Pretty bad-ass scene, where he just blows up a tank and walks away, after all 'Cool guys don't look at explosions'
So Tony and Farnsworth, create a pretty bad-ass way to escape the clutches of the terrorist threat by creating a suit of Armour and ... somehow connect it to Tony's arc reactor letting him control it? This is pre Jarvis so anything could f****** happen at this point, he manages to escape but sadly, Farnsworth dies, its a sad ... Screw it, lets set alight to some terrorist scum, tony blows up ... pretty much everything as it happens and flies off, crash landing in the scorching desert, he is then located by his friend, James 'Rhodey' Rhodes .... now before we start anything, when they changed Terrance Howard for Don Cheadle it pissed me off so much. WHY? Because they look nothing alike, the only trait they have is they are both black. Now don't get me wrong if there's a dispute with the contract then there is a dispute and you cant really just kill off the character?(Save that shit for civil war ... i really don't think War Machine will die, you can say 'look he dies' in the trailer all you want i still wont believe it, its Cap or nothing) Don Cheadle not a bad choice by any means, just seemed a bit abrupt is all. So Tony makes it back to the 1st world, orders a good ol american cheese burger (Insert burger king joke here) and proceeds to announce to the world that he is no longer making weapons, Obadiah Stane, our obvious villain for this little romp is not pleased. Tony tells Stane that he is working on something big and invites him to talk about it around the big Arc reactor that is powering his factory, Stane thinks he has gone bat shit insane and requests he takes a leave of absence.
Did i mention Stane was ... JEFF BRIDGES
Tony, now working on his first ... second Iron Man Suit, which he then takes for a fly around Miami and Stane being the unholy dick cheese that he is, meets up with the terrorists which we find out they had been working together all this time, a big corporate executive working with terrorists? only in fiction, only in fiction. He kills them and steals the plans for the Death star ... oh 'cough', the schematics for the Iron Man suit, sorry still getting over the Star Wars reviews from last month, he then hastily assembles his own team to create a suit of his own the 'Iron Monger' now before i continue, this suit ... is frigging awesome, its like an early mock-up of the hulk buster, But when you think about it, Stane is just another dick in a suit wanting some civilian hardware and doing anything it takes to get it. Tony stops some terrorists because they stole his weapons or something, i think Stane sold it to them, that's how tony found out, he sent pepper in ... oh Christ i forgot about pepper, i actually loathe this character, to me she brings F*** all to the story. There's nothing wrong with Gweneth Paltrow i just think she was a bland character. UNLESS they give her the 'Rescue' armor then i'd be happy, guess we got that in Iron Man 3 ... but the less i talk about that crap the better, ANYWAY. In order for Stane to operate his Mega Mech he needs an arc reactor that's smaller than the one at Stark Industries ... unless he has a crap ton of extension cables. He meets up with Tony and literally steals his heart. Cold blooded ... or hard wired.
Ok, she may look a little sexier but ... she is still bland AND She needs her 'Rescue' suit for Iron Man 4 ... if they are still making it
i still laugh at this ...
My score for this movie, 7/10 its a good movie, Just parts of it didn't make sense
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